not-all-victories:

gardenburger:

dark-dionysian-nsfw:

gardenburger:

HOW COME WHEN HARRY GETS BITTEN BY THE BASILISK IN CHAMBER OF SECRETS THAT DOESNT DESTROY THE HORCRUX IN HIM SOMEONE ANSWER THIS???

Because…

Because… Shit.

Can we get JKR on the phone ?

yes let me just pull out her number real quick hang on yes hello 911 can i speak to jkr pls

well Fawkes saves him, so maybe saved the horcrux too? Phoenix tears and all that.



divinedorothy:

bisexual means you can only like 2 things i’ve chosen drinking and wizards



ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

xcuse yew



inwentzify:

the three p’s

  • pizza
  • pasta
  • pfall out boy


You know what’s the worst? Being a 16-year-old girl who loves a famous singer, not solely for his looks, but because you truly believe he is talented and devoted and you agree deeply with his message. Because no matter how intelligently and fully you can express that, people will assume you’re just a silly teenager who thinks a famous guy is cute
Anthony Kiedis (via joshklingwaffle)

(Source: purecomposure)



officertoast:

officertoast:

I JUST SWALLOWED THE WIRE FROM MY BRACE 

PLEASE HELP

image

DO NOT



beccaliving:

Just a reminder that tattoos don’t have to mean anything. They do not require some intricate and moving backstory. Some people just appreciate having art on their skin…it’s as simple as that.



alltime-fallout:

rlmjob:

unclefather:

I’m scared of heterosexuals. What do they want? 

your kik

haha and then what? ;)



sandandglass:

crispy-tacos:

flogicallylawless:

If Fox thinks that a Muslim can’t write a book about Christianity

would they agree that men can’t write legislation about women?

EVERYBODY FREEZE.

image





terezipyroope:

person: u should like more colours

me: image

(Source: realterezipyrope)